Sister Justine Larsen serving in Cambodia, suffers illness, lives with ants and builds faith

Sister Anne Larsen of the 5th ward shared the following messages from her daughter Justine Larsen currently serving in the Cambodia Phnom Penh mission. She has been serving for 8 months.

"Two weeks after arriving in Cambodia Justine woke up one morning and couldn’t move one side of her face. After many tests to rule out tumors, she was misdiagnosed with Bell’s palsy for 2 months and last month, we found out she really had Ramsey Hunt syndrome, which happens when a shingle infection affects the facial nerve near the ear. What it meant for her was that the right side of her face was completely paralyzed; she had severe headaches and earaches, which made her exhausted. She also had to sleep with her eye-taped shut. Thankfully her condition improved drastically after 3 weeks. 

Here is what she wrote about her living conditions when she was struggling with her sickness and was confined to a cockroach and ant infested apartment. 

"I wipe ants off of everything. Every spoon/plate/cup I use; every shirt I put on; I find one in my retainer case almost every day; I pick them out of my rice sometimes.

We had the hottest night of my whole month here this week. It was so hot that none of us could sleep. At one point I just got up and walked around, because I couldn't handle just sitting and sweating. It's hot season right now, and everyone says it's one of the hottest they've ever experienced. I don't think I've ever prayed so hard in my life. And I feel awful that that's what I prayed about, but it was so hot. I couldn't even cry it was so hot.

I keep telling my companion that I have met my match in Cambodia. Cambodia has decimated and razed me to the floor. It's a harsh place to live."

Being in Cambodia has also been very hard emotionally.  She wrote: 

"On Tuesday we were at a member's house and she lost $20 (which is a lot of money in Cambodia) She had been saving it to pay off a debt that she inherited and the debt collector was coming to get the money that day. She just sat down and sobbed about how hard her life has been and that she would rather die than live. The whole time we were there I wanted to give her the $20 bill in my bag so badly, but our mission president has advised us to not give money or we would have to give to everyone. 

Yesterday we visited an 18-year-old boy with stomach cancer. The elders gave him a blessing and we just talked to him for a bit after that. His parents said that he's going to die because they don't have the money to pay the doctors anymore and there's nothing else to do for him. It's just so sad. These people have such hard lives. I'm having a hard time keeping it together just writing it out to you. The circumstances here are the stuff of nightmares. 

As rough as this mission is in some ways, it really is an incredible mission. Sister E. and I have started to try writing down all the miracles that happen every day. Cambodia is an incredible place for a lot of reasons.

One of our members stopped selling rice so she could start reading her scriptures more. She is the same lady who had lost her $20 and not once while searching her house did she even think to touch her tithing money, which would have covered at least some of the debt. 

Another member Om Sarouen is an incredible example of what it means to be a member missionary. She is the mother of both of our branch presidents. She has befriended and referred a number of our current investigators and she continually serves and loves them.

She also has gone through some really terrible things. She was 20 years old when Pol Pot took over. (Pol Pot was the leader of the Khmer Rouge regime that killed between 1-3 million people in the late 70s) 

She told us that when Vietnam came into the country, she had just barely given birth to her first-born, who is now the branch president of Ta Khmau Branch 2. Because of the chaos during that time, she was separated from her husband and had to run with her ten-day-old baby to Vietnam to safety. 

Later on, the same child, was really sick to the point where he was slipping in and out of consciousness. He was given a priesthood blessing while the family was learning about the gospel and healed. From that point on their family has been an incredible strength for the church in Ta Khmau. 

Yesterday she went over to one of our investigators' house before church to give her a hug and invite her to church. Unbeknownst to her, our investigator had been really struggling that morning because of some difficult family problems. 

Our investigator told us later, Om Sarouen's hug made her start crying because she felt so loved and gave her the little push she needed to come to church. Our investigator even bore her testimony of her trust in God during fast and testimony meeting. Members are where the miracles happen."

This is how Justine describes a typical lesson:“ We walk through little walkways through fields of trash and debris to get to a little alley, which has a ton of doors on either side. Go in one of the doors and you find a little room with cement or tile floors, cement walls, and a tin roof. There's usually a rice cooker, somewhere to hang some clothes, a mattress or pad, and that's it.  We all sit on the floor for the lesson and drip with sweat and there are usually ants crawling around and someone's cell phone goes off in the middle of the lesson or a crowd of kids gathers at the door and they giggle and shriek every time you smile up at them.

Despite being so different from what I thought would be the "ideal lesson", we've had some really incredible lessons here. Some of the people we teach just seem to get it. They take everything we say so seriously and they apply what we teach them immediately. We have people asking us how long before they can get baptized. Their faith is so inspiring. One of our investigators is mad she's not baptized yet, because she wants to pay tithing. 

I'm so grateful for my mission. I could never have grown like I am now without this experience. I have had moments that were so difficult but now are so near to my heart. I still have moments that are so difficult, but it's a good difficult. 

As I write this email, I keep having to pick ants off my arms that are crawling all over the desk of this internet shop. It's just a part of life here. One of our members fed us a bowl of fried chicken innards with ants crawling all over it. It was actually pretty tasty. 

Every week is just that much better. It's still hot here. I still drip with sweat every night while making dinner. I still walk through trash and pick ants off my silverware before using it. I still have weird health things that are just part of living in a rough environment. 

The difference has been in me. I really have found myself changing and choosing to be happier.  In Philippians 4:11–13, Paul is stuck in a Roman prison after years of rough missionary service and he writes: 

“I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
“I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” 

Is the Atonement real?

Yes. I testify from experience that it is a real power. When we think we can't go any further, we can find strength through Christ. 

It's really humbling to realize this isn't my work. I think I came in thinking I was going to be able to work hard and have success by relying on my abilities, but that belief got squashed real quickly. My job really is just to love, follow the Spirit, and trust in the Lord.

I have learned so much since I got here. I've learned that my best doesn't mean perfect and that's ok. I've learned that any effort is one step closer to your goal no matter how small. I've learned that the Atonement can change people. I've learned that God doesn't require us to be perfect- rather He asks us to try. I've learned that despite the incredibly difficult circumstances and trials some people have to endure in this life, there is hope for a better future and a better life in Christ. I've learned God is a forgiving and merciful Father who is always waiting for us to turn to Him. 

I know that God lives, that He is mindful of His children and I know that He loves each one of us. I've felt that to be true as I share that love with those around me."

- Sister Justine Larsen